Thursday, June 14, 2012

Smart Stew

(Posted by the War Planner who desperately wants to start doing the rule-five-Friday thingamajig except he spends too much time looking at Odie's Rule Five Friday posts.)


A 50-something year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to an elderly white woman reading her Bible. Disgusted, the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The man said "I cannot sit here next to this infidel." The flight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat."

After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "There are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one In first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class."

Before the irate Muslim man could say anything, the attendant gestured to the elderly woman and said, "Therefore ma’am, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing ovation.

THE HITS KEEP ON COMIN' UPDATE: Another little e-blast from my friend Cappy Robertson and my apologies to the ladies out there:

"Baby, you can drive my car.."

The New 2012 Ford

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners will find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.

-30-

4 comments:

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Oh Doooode, it's Rule 5 "Saturdays" at Woodsterman. It's Fridays at those "other guys" blogs. You did, however, add sex and humor as the Woodsterman would. I think we'll keep you on.

The War Planner said...

..shows you how out of touch I really am. I spend two days per week Hoovering this stuff up and lose track of time!

Ron Russell said...

The captain was a wise man! Great one.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Clitaurus? That's a new low even for you. Keep up the good work.